Driving Rude

I drive a lot. I admit it. I've put 220,000 km on my little car in the last five years. Very unGreen of me. Of course for the five years before that I didn't really drive at all and to make up for it I'm moving back down to the city - no more commuting for this girl. Anyway, in all this driving I have seen a lot of bad driving.

My three pet peeves:

1. People who are driving 10-30 km/hr faster than me on major highways. Seriously, if I'm moving at 120 km/hr should I have to speed up to pass a semi? Or get passed by one? Or be tail-gated by some git in a black SUV who thinks that the real speed limit (at least for them) is 140? I really wish the government would bring back photo-radar and set it at 130.

2. People who do not pull over for emergency vehicles. I have had people honk at me and pass me when I pull over because a fire truck, ambulance or police vehicle is coming. Maybe you could turn down your music and use the rear view mirror. Really, it has a purpose.

3. People who 'butt in' on off-ramps to skip the line or who move into the merge lane and zoom past on the right to get that little bit further ahead of traffic. I'm pretty sure that it is not only rude but illegal. It's also dangerous. The place I get to experience this most is the off-ramp from the 401E to the 400N in the collectors. People come screamin' along and swerve into the exit lane at the last moment - long after the white line has become solid. I had it happen to me yesterday: a beige SUV tried to merge at the very last second and ended up getting stranded about two feet from the crash barrels. Git.

I know I'm not innocent, and I'm not perfect. But I try not to be an ass. That's all I ask.

Be nice when you are out driving this long weekend.

Jethro the Life Coach

' "What you are doing is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone. Listen now to me and I will give you some advice, and may God be with you." '

Jethro was Moses' father-in-law and obviously a wise and compassionate man. He came out to the desert to return Moses' wife and children to him. While there he celebrated Moses' successes and observed his current actions. He noticed, as only an outside observer can, that Moses was working himself to death. His burden was too great. As only a great coach can, Jethro showed Moses another way and encouraged him to act on this new knowledge. He lit a new path for Moses to follow and helped Moses become more effective in his chosen work. After Jethro had rendered that invaluable service, Moses sent him on his way.

Jethro had done a fantastic job as a coach.

When I was taking care of my mother, I knew that I was burning out but I did not see another way to manage things. I believed that I had to do everything myself, that no one else could help me or do the job as well as I could.

' "That will make your load lighter, because they will share it with you. If you do this and God so commands, you will be able to stand the strain, and all these people will go home satisfied." '

Eventually I learned to let go, even just a little bit, and allow others to help. One of those who helped was Jane, she hardly knew my mom but took her grocery shopping every week - a task that I loathed.

When we delegate to those we trust, we are better able to focus on the most effective use of our time and resources.

I owe great thanks to Jane and to all those who helped me care for my mom - I wouldn't have made it without you.

Exodus 18:13-27

Happy Birthday Mom!

That's pretty much it. Today would have been my Mom's birthday.

I'll be so glad when this week is over.

The Amazing Ms. MacMillan

Thanks to Dr. K. for telling me about this little news nugget.

Page A1 of the Globe and Mail on August 29, 2007 has a story about a controversy at the Canadian War Museum in Ottawa.

The dispute is between historians and a veteran's group. The topic is the bombing and fire-bombing of Dresden and other German cities towards the end of World War II. Margaret MacMillan is one of the historians on the four-person panel assembled to review the wording.

'The fight over the 67-word panel, titled An Enduring Controversy, erupted shortly after the Canadian War Museum opened in May, 2005. A group of veterans objected to its saying that "the value and morality of the strategic bomber offensive against Germany remains bitterly contested," and to its contrasting 600,000 dead with the statement that "the raids resulted in only small reductions of German war production until late in the war." '

One of the bomber veterans responded by saying that, "I took offence that we were just helter-skelter bombers. We always had justified targets."

Yes, and the precision of the bombing runs is amply documented. bwahahahaha
Dresden burned to the ground. Firebombing is not something that can be targeted. It's a fire for heaven's sake. Total destruction. The same tactic was used in Japan, before the nuclear bombs were dropped. Firebombing is just about as effective when the city is made of wood - as cities tended to be in 1945. Estimates for the number of people killed in the firebombing of Dresden range from 35,000 to 100,000.

It's a war crime. Specifically, under Principle VI(b) of the Nuremberg Principles: "wanton destruction of cities, towns, or villages, or devastation not justified by military necessity" or maybe targeting civilians, item (c).

I got into a fight with my first IR prof earlier this summer over the topic of post-modernism. One of the other students asked if it was impossible for us to fairly judge the war crimes of others when we were imposing our own moral code on them and that in a post-modernist system their morality might well be completely different. I argued that "Yes, it is incorrect to assume that *our* morals are the correct morals and moreover that we are incredibly hypocritical because we will accuse others of war crimes but that if we the imperial, capitalist powers commit an act it is 'good' but that if someone else does it, it is 'bad'.

We may not be able to impose our moral standards on others but we should at least try to follow them ourselves.

Funnily enough, this issue was first brought to my attention by The West Wing. Leo is trying to figure out why the U.S. does not agree to the jurisdiction of the World Court and one of his commanders from Vietnam explains that Leo himself committed war crimes as a bomber pilot. If the U.S. agreed to abide by international law, they could then be charged. So, while America insists that others are brought to justice, it neatly sidesteps any charges against itself.

We could do the same except that we have already ratified the International Criminal Code and acquiesced to the jurisdiction of the International Criminal Court. In fact, "Canada became the first country in the world to incorporate the obligations of the Rome Statute into its national laws when it adopted the Crimes Against Humanity and War Crimes Act (CAHWCA) on June 24, 2000. Canada was then able to ratify the Rome Statute on July 9, 2000."

Our soldiers and leaders could be charged with war crimes.

Maybe we should remember that when we are following the U.S. into battle.

Malfeasance in Montebello

Last week at Montebello, near Ottawa in Quebec, the leaders of North America met for a '3 Amigos' summit. There were, of course, organized protests and massive amounts of counter-security. The democratically elected leaders were being protected from the demos who, theoretically at least, elected them. Check out this U-Tube clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=St1-WTc1kow&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Ehubbers%2Eca%2F

These were SQ (Surete du Quebec) officers, in other words, they were cops. Or maybe they were RCMP.

I think there are legitimate arguments to be made for why cops should be undercover in a large demonstration. The best one for me is that there is always a small minority of any large group, especially at protests and demonstrations, who are unstable. These people pose a danger to themselves, to other people in the group and to the respectability of the group as a whole. I fully respect the right of the police to gather intelligence on these people and monitor the situation.

Unfortunately, at this demonstration, that small, unstable minority were the police. As I watched the video I was filled with admiration for the union leader, Dave Coles , who interceded on behalf of the peaceful protesters and forced the 'anarchists' back behind police lines. I seriously doubt whether I would have had even a small portion of that man's courage - those cops were scary and big. The crowd laughed as the 'rioters' were thrown to the ground by police, ripped, and marched away.

Here is a CBC article that covers a little bit more and actually manages to mention *why* the protestors and national leaders were in Montebello in the first place: http://www.cbc.ca/canada/montreal/story/2007/08/22/ot-police-070822.html.

"The Security and Prosperity Partnership pact, signed in 2005, is intended to forge closer trade and security links between the countries."

Many people, and I am certainly one of them, feel that the SPP is the single largest threat to Canada's sovereignty and continued existence as an independent nation. While some might argue that our nationhood is merely a technicality at this point, I like to believe that we still have the ability to make our own decisions, especially on the international stage. That while we must always be mindful of our ginormously powerful neighbour to the south (yes, ginormous is the technical term) that we still have the potential to be a strong mid-power nation. The SPP threatens to rip that all away.

I encourage you to take a gander at Glenn's site: http://hubbers.ca/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/threats-to-our-water.pdf for more information and links on SPP. Then maybe write a letter.

Steven Truscott almost innocent

Steven Truscott was acquitted by the Ontario Court of Appeals in a 5 judge unanimous decision on August 28, 2007.

It takes a very large stretch of my imagination to try and empathize with what it would be like to live your entire life as a convicted murderer - when you knew you were innocent. I can't imagine what it would be like to live the vast majority of your life under an assumed name, your identity taken from you by the court of public opinion.

I cannot imagine the strength and faith it would take to forgive the wrongs done and accept the course of fate. Mr. Truscott sounded humble and grateful for the verdict handed down yesterday; a lesser person could have easily been bitter.

Fascinating legal aspect, for me anyway, is that he was not found innocent, only not guilty. The Court of Appeals did not make the final step to a full exoneration. There was a discussion about this on CBC Metro Morning Tuesday morning before the verdict was read. Here is an in-depth article: http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/truscott/

Congratulations to the Truscott family, to all of his supporters who lobbied so vigourously for his appeal and to the lawyers from the Association in Defence of the Wrongly Convicted who took the case back to the courts.

It is an ambivalent day for justice, a great defense for the abolition of the death penalty and a serious indictment of Canada's justice system. To paraphrase one CBC listener, while it is good to see this miscarriage of justice rectified there remain two crimes unsolved: one, the tragic murder of 13 year-old Lynne Harper and two, the tragic theft of Mr. Truscott's freedom and innocent potential.

More reasons to become a lawyer. While I have problems imagining a world where the system of law is practiced in a just and humane manner I will keep working for it.

God is in the details?

Okay, I confess, I don't see the point of this major part of Exodus. Not only does God get *really* specific about how the Tent of Meeting is to be built when explaining it to Moses but then the entire thing is repeated while the Israelites are actually building it. It is sooo boring. Cubits this and that, overlaid with gold, built from acacia wood. How does this help?

Remember I'm new at this so feel free to shed some light on what the point is. I can only think of two possibilities.

1. One of my favourite movies is the Wedding Planner with Jennifer Lopez. Near the beginning of the movie she quips "Most grooms are NID." When asked what that means she replies with a smile, "Not Into Details."

This part of Exodus makes it abundantly clear to me that God is totally into details. There is nothing unimportant when it comes to building a sacred space. Even the undergarments of the priests are explained. I like this, it fits in nicely with one of my new favourite sayings, "God is in the details." When we pay attention to the small things, every little step of the way, it makes the success of the whole project much more likely. The trick, I guess, is to keep the big vision while nailing each little detail. Taking little baby steps towards that huge end goal.

Or, as Jim Rohn put it: "You don't build the house until it's finished."

2. My second thought is that humans tend to value things more when they have had to sacrifice money, time, and effort. God was trying to create a sacred space, a place that would hold the Glory of the Lord. The Israelites had already shown that they were fickle and perhaps not too bright so God came up with a plan to get them to pay attention. God requested they sacrifice their gold, silver, and bronze to build the Tent of Meeting. Also that their most skilled artisans dedicate themselves to the holy task and their most learned men to becoming priests. Finally, the Tent of Meeting is big. Humans like big-ness, we tend to think it is more important.

The Tabernacle, or Tent of Meeting, gave God a place to dwell amongst the Israelites but the detailed and laborious nature of its structure helped God to dwell *within* the Israelites, which is really the point.

So, I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, all those instructions weren't that important for God, they weren't some attempt to gain importance. Maybe they were just God's way of getting the attention of the Israelites and communicating with them on a level they could understand. A really materialistic level, granted, but one they knew. It makes me wonder how much we've progressed in the last few thousand years.

hmm...

My coach has me working on my Vision - which I'll have to post once it's finished. Then I'll start working out the details, the hundreds of baby steps required to reach the final goal. Maybe I'll throw in some acacia wood, just for good measure.

Exodus 25:10 - 28:43, 36:8 - 39:31

Strange Anniversary

Today is a weird day - it's my anniversary, but not one that I want to celebrate. One year ago today my mother succumbed to a very nasty metastatic cancer after an almost-two-year struggle.

She was surrounded by family for her last hours and it was very peaceful. She went out under heavy morphine sedation, her brain destroyed by a lung cancer.

It was, for me, the most profound experience of my life. To be able to sit with her, hold her hand and ask to see what she saw. As she passed I closed my eyes and saw blinding whiteness. It was so gentle that it brought a huge smile to my face. After being her primary caregiver for two years I felt as if two elephants that I hadn't even known were there dissolved from my shoulders. I felt tonnes lighter.

If you are currently a caregiver my heart goes out to you - I understand the burden you carry. Hopefully this blog will help to ease the burden. One year later I am still exploring life after caregiving. I can only promise that it does get better. I still cry at seemingly small things and I can't yet talk about it without tearing up but it *is* better. The world has much more light in it now.

To my mother: You were a total pain in the butt and I love you so much. I miss you dearly and not a day goes by that I don't think of you.

Mwa.

I will be with you

{I thought that maybe this needed a little explanatory note. I'm reading the Bible - from start to finish. Along with all my other projects I am making time to read both the Old and New Testaments. To clarify, I have no religious affiliations. Christains would call me unsaved and a heathen. I'm okay with that. Here's why: I love God. By whatever name, I love the Holy Ghost, Brahman, the animating force, Spirit, Gaia. I love the energy field that surrounds and loves us all.}

I want to save the world. I can't think of anything better to do with my time. No, really. An unconscious messiah complex? Probably, but I'm okay with that. So I've begun an exploration of the world's religious systems. To me it seems that nothing rips humanity apart like religion, so maybe that is also the way to bring us together.

Here is my thought for today:

'But Moses said to God, "Who am I, that I should go to Pharoah and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"

And God said, "I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you..." '

I totally understand how Moses was feeling. Completely unequal to the task. I mean, he'd already run away from Egypt under a death threat and now some bush was telling him to go back and free thousands of people from slavery. That's pretty daunting. How could he possibly do it? What made him so special? What skills did he have?

And God said, "I will be with you." That is so cool. It didn't matter who Moses was or what skills he had, he only had to make himself available for God to work through him.

That's who I intend to be - someone who is available to Spirit. Open to whatever calling I am given; because there is nothing more important to do. The coolest part about this is that it sidesteps ego. I am not the one working the plan, I am acting as a channel for Spirit to do the work that needs to be done. This is not about personal aggrandizement, it works at a level much higher than that. That rocks.

More than that: it means that we ALL have the potential to work for Spirit. We ALL have that ability and responsibility. As a coach and a coachee it is the most important question to answer: How is Spirit calling me to change the world?

How is Spirit calling you?

{BTW, for the sticklers, I am using the new international version of the Bible.}

Exodus 3:11-12

We love Mexico and they love us

I wanted to get something off my chest about Mexico.

In 2006, Mexico overtook England as the favourite international travel destination for Canadians (after the US) with 842,000 overnight trips (http://www.statcan.ca/Daily/English/070529/d070529a.htm).

For the past two years, Mexico has also been the largest source country for refugee claimants to Canada.

So, really, we send our tourists there and they send their refugees here. Seems fair doesn't it?

Not really. Personally, I find it disturbing how many Canadians travel to Mexico without a thought as to where they are going. Images of luxurious hotels, beautiful beaches and hedonism at the clubs are absolutely right on target and wonderful but they float deceptively over the reality of life in Mexico.

What is that reality?

According to the Amnesty International Annual Report, 2007 (http://thereport.amnesty.org/eng/Regions/Americas/Mexico)

"There were continuing reports of torture, arbitrary detention, excessive use of force and unfair judicial proceedings, particularly at state level. Serious human rights violations were reported in Oaxaca State in the context of a protracted political crisis. Violence against women remained endemic in many states and the campaign for justice for the women of Ciudad Juárez and Chihuahua City continued. Several journalists were killed. Human rights defenders and political opponents in some states remained at risk of harassment or unfounded criminal prosecutions. Measures to prosecute those responsible for systematic human rights violations in previous decades failed. Indigenous peoples in several states continued to face discrimination including in access to basic services, such as health care and education."

This post isn't the thousands of men and women who throw themselves on the mercy of human smugglers every year trying to get out of Mexico. I also won't talk about Mexico City, possibly the largest city on earth, with over 19 million inhabitants. It isn't about the gross human rights abuses and femicide of the maquiladora areas near the Mexican-American border. This post isn't even about the dangers that tourists face when they travel to Mexico.

Nope, this post is about the people who do manage to reach Canada. Many of the claimants are middle class professionals: writers, lawyers, doctors, and engineers who fear persecution or death in Mexico. Some are fleeing homophobia, some spousal abuse, and some are trying to escape from the drug cartels who run their businesses and their local governments with equal ease. These claimants are people like us. People who just want a safe existence, who want a chance to earn money and raise their families without being threatened, disappeared, or killed.

And what do we do? We deny their claims and send them back because there is a reasonable expectation that their government will protect them. Please! Their government is incapable of reigning in the criminals in Mexico and corruption is so rampant that many people are afraid to ask the police for help. And we refuse to help, the Canadian government only accept 28% of the refugee claims made by Mexicans. (http://www.thestar.com/News/article/243329)

Sigh.

Our hubris and ignorance about the world in which we travel is shameful. If you travel, at least learn about your destination first. And don't be surprised when something not-so-nice happens. The world is not really our playground - when will we start acting like it.

Just remember: In Mexico, you are guilty until proven innocent.

Indy's Adventures in Halifax

After much internal soul searching I made the decision to send my dog to Halifax to live with Penny.

Starting in September, I'll be leaving the house at quarter after five in the morning and not getting home until nine. I knew that keeping the dog would be incredibly hard on him and on me.

My brother, Darryl, and sister-in-law, Catherine, drove Indy down to Halifax last weekend. Here is a snippet of how Indy is adjusting from our email thread.

Catherine: The drive was absolutely beautiful! Indy was VERY happy to see Penny OMG! The dogs have access to a lovely yard with a wooded area and a lawn area. There's always someone at home and the door to the backyard is open all the time: Doggy heaven. There's a lake a block away and the dogs went there for a walk off leash, again, doggy heaven.

Penny: Indy is fine. He's sleeping well on his blanket in our room. He and John have bonded. I got a rope for them to tug on so the soft toys will be saved. There is some problem with the cats. He ignores them in the house, but in the yard, he feels free to chase them away. In fact, he seems to have succeeded with Spock. I haven't seen him for 2 days.

Darryl: He's such a good little chaser.

Catherine: Darryl!!!

Me: No reply, just laughing so hard that tears roll down my cheeks.

Spock has been found by the way, he was in the basement - sulking. I love my family.

I hate my Coach

For those of you who don't know (and why would you after all), I've been receiving coaching for the past year from a wonderful woman named Cynthia. We mutually decided that it would be best for me to switch coaches for the second year to move forward with publishing my book.

Cynthia recommended Niall. I've had two sessions with him in the last week and he has so severely irritated me that I just want to hunt him down and smack him. He's lucky he lives on the other side of the continent.

That means he is doing his job really well. Dang!

He is exactly the kind of coach that I deserve and I am finally getting a taste of my own painfully honest medicine. Now I know what my clients mean when they tell me that I almost made them cry, give up and never talk to me again.

That is how I feel right now.

Luckily, there is a little voice inside of me telling me to listen to him, to persevere and to trust that this is for my highest good.

That little voice is not my ego - it is my Highest Self. It is surely my ego that is telling me to give up and stay the same.

The ego hates growth, and it hates change. Not only are those big clues that the ego is running the show but it is also the ego that hates. Since 'I hate' my coach right now, I know that it is, in fact, my ego running scared.

Run little ego Run. Send me a postcard.

Tears for Boston Legal

I never used to cry. Now, it seems that certain topics grab my heart and squeeze. Three of those topics are cancer, dementia, and terminal illness. A case in point was Tuesday.

To celebrate our respective summer holidays, my cousin Dylan and I are watching Season 2 of Boston Legal as quickly as we possibly can. We started Monday and are now on Episode 22 of 28. I love this show and after a shaky start, Season 2 has been just as good as Season 1.

However, Tuesday night it made me cry. Specifically, it was the episode with Michael J. Fox as a Stage 4 Lung Cancer patient. Of course, it had to be stage 4 lung cancer, that's what killed my mom. What made it worse was that I could see the symptoms of Parkinson's Disease in Michael. After it was over, I made it down the hall but as soon as I reached my bedroom the tears started.

That's it, just a minute where I was paralyzed by sobs. There is altogether too much cancer, dementia and death in Season 2 of Boston Legal. Altogether too much. Still love the show.

Four days until the 1 year anniversary of my Mom's death. Stupid cancer.